Next, please...

Let me kick off this post with a montage to Anchor’s awkward sleeping habits:

Well now that we’ve covered that…

This past weekend was a true test of my sanity - after a visit with an
old high school friend that didn’t end so well and another friendship
experienced a colossal meltdown – it was comparable to a scene from
“Girl, Interrupted” in this noggin of mine – I am hoping for an
uneventful upcoming week.

I understand, Angelina.

Sometimes I wonder how my life went one direction and others a
completely different path.

I wonder what takes someone from scholar student to recovering addict.
I have a tendency to want to fix everything and to carry the weight of
the world on my shoulders. I struggle with “it could have been me” and
“what would be different if I…”. I try to remind myself that
everything happens for a reason but when I look into the empty eyes of
a friend of over 10 years and I see no life, no happiness, no hope –
it’s hard to believe it. If they had only not gone to that one bar,
met that one friend, dated that one person… maybe it would be
different.

Sometimes I feel guilty for the life that I live. Sometimes I feel
like things are too good to be true. How can someone have everything
they could ever want while another struggles just to have one small
reason to smile each day.

I do, and will always, believe that each and every person you meet in
life serves a purpose –  each is there for a reason; weather to teach
you, to guide you, or to grow you. While some friendships serve
lifelong purposes, unfortunately others you will outgrow. As in every
relationship, you must be willing to put forth a certain amount of
work. It will always take work. Everything takes work…
every.damn.thing. Some relationships just aren’t worth the work it
takes to maintain them. When you are gaining more stress than
enjoyment from someone, is it really worth it?

Memories remain. Good times do not change. You can still love them for
what they represented in your life, but some relationships are better
left behind and not brought with you to the next chapter in your life.

Will you revisit that chapter? Sure. You’ll skim the pages, laugh at
the funny parts, cry at the sad… and keep on turning.

Mexican Blizzard

What is the only logical thing to do when snow is falling and roads are slick? Make enchiladas... obvi. Whoever thought "go sledding" should be ashamed.

I found this recipe on www.skinnytaste.com and they received two thumbs and one fork up from Brian and I feel the same. These will be made again... and again, and again.

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/02/chicken-enchiladas.html

It looks like a ton of ingredients but rest assured it's much easier than it seems. I made the chicken and shredded it the night before to save some time for the week night prep. Mine weren't quite as pretty, but I guarantee just as tasty. I served these with sticky white rice and lite sour cream.

BONUS: they heat up well... hello, Thursday lunch pick-me-up!

I spent the last two days working half days in the office and half days at home due to the snow and ice. Where is summer? I am ready for frozen margaritas and beach days!

There is something about nice weather that just does something wonderful to my mood. During the cold (and wet) season that is winter I find myself feeling cabin-fever... down in the dumps... bored, if you will. The coziness of our fireplace and awesome beige boots are the only way I zombie through these 3 months. How anyone could live further north baffles me.

I feel ya, Anchor....

School has kicked off and it is in full swing, hopefully I can submerge myself in assignments and exams enough to make this winter fly by.

Where are you, April??

Anchor's Puppy Posse

Well this weekend, like most at the Beavan compound, was go-go-go. Having a popular dog is a struggle as we were on her schedule all weekend. She managed to pack in play time with 5 different dogs this weekend.

Thursday was her training course which meant play time with Kona! The slight issue with having two dogs who love each other as much as these two do is that training becomes a little tougher on the people who have to hold them back from licking each other while they're supposed to be doing figure 8s. They tuckered each other out and thus began Anchor's fun filled weekend.

Friday we had dinner with Melissa and David at her parents house since they were dog watching, Melissa's bull dog Boomer was not too impressed with Anchor at first (certainly not love at first sight) but after a while they were frolicking and having a blast with Boomer's little brother Henry. Anchor was a big fan of those two and slept the whole way home.

Saturday we took Anchor to play with my parents Pomeranian, he's quite the bully so Anchor just amused herself by running laps around him since he couldn't catch up.

That night Brian and I dressed up and headed out for his work winter social. We had a BLAST! We ate good food, socialized, and danced into the night. Tuckering Anchor out the days before was beneficial to both of our aching heads the next morning.

Sunday we ran a few errands and took Anchor to her weekly play time with Kona. Muddy grass + two hyper puppies in full-on play mode = long overdue baths for our girl.

Since Monday was MLK day we had the day off from work, we took Anchor to play with Brian's other dog Toby (who is currently at his parents until we have a fence and space for him to run, he's not much of a leash dog) and we let her off of the leash for what was probably only 3 minutes but felt like 3 hours to me. Small steps, people.

We can home and I made some homemade sushi that didn't turn out half bad! California rolls for starters, I will share when I conquer something that's a real feat. 

Speaking of feats - remember that dog who was not allowed on the furniture, someone (**cough, Brian, cough**) caved when she curled up and tried to hide so we couldn't see her on the couch. $40.00 dog bed, who needs it.

Today is the first of Brian and I's 3 day wee and St. Mary's county is supposed to get up to 9" of snow today, fingers crossed everyone stays safe in that mess!

Subtle hints

Brian and I have the kind of relationship where if I do something like this...

we are able to laugh it off, but what he takes away from it is my joking is a subtle hint that he is driving me nuts.

My husband took on a whole list of pet peeves when he married me:

People who chew with their mouths open

People who gulp loudly

People who make repetitive noises for no purpose whatsoever (like pen clicking)

Chronic throat clearers

Clothes thrown in the hamper inside out

Hangers left in the closet

Gum popping

and the obvious wet towels on the bed

I am sure there are more and when Brian reads this I am certain he will remind me of them.

I am working to let those that are not in my control (shout out to the chronic throat clearer in the cube row next to mine) not drive me quite as crazy as they have in the past.

The noises listed above can really ruin my day. Yes, dramatic - I am aware - my Mom has been telling me that for 22 years now. I am constantly overwhelmed with the urge to ask people if their parents never taught them basic table manners. If I am at dinner and I can hear a table near me chewing, that's an issue. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR EAT AT HOME. Will it always bother me?! Probably. But working to not let it get as far as ruining dinner, a movie or a bus ride for me is a must. I can keep a cool composure, but on the inside I am dwelling on the unnecessary noises ringing from table 10.

I have attempted the breathing and counting to 10 method. One issue: after 10, the annoying noise is still occurring.

If I can't think of something soon I will just invest in a bag of lozenges for Mr. Throat Clearer and this shirt and call it a day:

Pancakes, Porkloin, Brocolli Casserole... oh my.

Before I get into the scrumptiousness that was last week, I must first show off my proudest moment thus far of the New Year... meal prepping! One of my favorite recipe discoveries from this new goal: Protein Pancakes! I found this recipe on one of my favorite health and fitness blogs (http://www.pbfingers.com/2013/09/05/egg-white-and-oatmeal-protein-pancake/), check it out... you will not be disappointed. Plus their obsession with their dog, Sadie, hits home for us. Crazy dog people, unite!

Not only are these insanely easy, they are delicious and husband approved!

I have been pre packing salads, breakfasts and protein shakes for Brian and I's lunches for the week and not only is it a time saver during the week it's has certainly made me accountable for what I am eating each day. Brian is only 3 weeks shy of completing the first series of P90X and will be starting again shortly after and this time, I am joining him! He is a great motivator so I look forward to 90 days of workouts with him and all the humorous posts that are sure to follow. I will post before and after results - don't worry.

Must watch Vanderpump Rules while packing. Multi-tasking, baby.

This weekend was jammed packed but a good time. On Friday we put together our new stand I snagged for 50% off that matches our living room set, and finally printed some wedding photos!

Fresh Tulips.

After, we had our friends Melissa and David over for dinner and board games. I made a sweet and savory pork loin that I HIGHLY recommend (recipe can be found here: http://www.inspiredtaste.net/easyrecipe-print/21117-0) and Brian's Mom's famous broccoli casserole which is very easy and always a go-to with guests (recipe will follow). We had a great time sitting around the table laughing and catching up, they're always a good time.

Pork Loin

Broccoli Casserole

Saturday we got up early and had a breakfast date at one of my favorite breakfast joints, Linda's Cafe. It's old, and homely, and the food is delicious. It reminds me of my grandmother every time I am there and I always get her favorite: cream chipped beef. 

After breakfast we went to Brian's parents for some quality Beavan time and had a blast catching up with these cuties:



Intense convo.

They never cease to amaze me with their similar but different personalities. Brynn is definitely an Uncle Brian's girl - this is where she spent most of the day and ultimately would've slept if her Mom and Dad would have let her.

She knows where the comfy spot is.

On Sunday, Anchor had her very first "Puppy play date" with her best buddy Kona she met at training and they tuckered one another out - that's for sure. I love seeing her be able to run freely and really get the exercise she needs that it is almost impossible for Brian and I to give her (without giving ourselves heart attacks, that is). They had a blast running behind the shed at Kona's peoples house (Jason and Kristen, who are also very likeable). Their personal obstacle course included running under a holly tree, through a leaf pile, around the shed, over a pile of bricks and back around. It was very comical to watch so I think it's safe to say that both the dogs and humans had an enjoyable play date and will most certainly be doing it again soon.

Unfortunately having those two sit still for long enough to capture a picture was all but impossible, I will try again next week!

After our play date we went to watch football and I was able to see our friend Kelly (whos husband does P90X with mine) to congratulate her on their pregnancy. I know they had been talking about starting a family for quite some time and I am glad to see their dreams coming to fruition. They are, no doubt, going to be great parents. She is a 1st grade teacher, if she's not cut out for this - I don't know who is.

Lastly - on a trip to walmart last week (which happens once every 2 years since walmart is full of crazies) I scooped up a baby gate to see if it would help us with keeping Anchor calm and the cat a little more sane. I am pleased to announce mission baby gate sanity was a success. Just look at that dedication:



Daddy, I can help? Just let me in.

If I am good, will I get early release from this jail?!

BROCCOLI CASSEROLE:

5 Heads of Broccoli

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 1/2 cups of milk (I used Almond Milk by Silk)

1 bag reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese

1 cup bisquick (Heart healthy works, too)

1/4 cup melted butter - Spray butter works just fine as well

1.) Cut florrets off of broccoli heads and boil until soft, drain

2.) Combine milk and cream of mushroom until the consistency of gravy, give or take some milk

3.) Milk bisquick and butter to create a crumb topping, set aside

4.) Pour broccoli into 9 x 13 dish and cover with soup mixture

5.) Top with entire package of cheese evenly

6.) Top with Bisquick topping mixture

7.) Cook at 425 degrees until topping is browned, enjoy!

Mexico and Ovaries, oh yeah... it gets weird.

Big plans are falling in place at the Beavan home front.

Last night, after extensive research (because there is no other way according to my husband), we found and fell in love with our vacation spot for 2014! (More information can be found here: http://grcaribedeluxe.com/index.asp)





Yes, we know... we JUST went to Mexico in October. Here's the thing about Mexico: I am fairly certain I could live there and never need to see another place in my life because Mexico is made of the things heaven is. This will more than likely be our last trip there for many years and I plan to make the most of it. What better way to do that than with friends! Our friends Melissa and David have committed to coming out with us and in return we have committed to Barbados in 2015. They are so fun and the perfect couple to travel with, we cannot wait... Melissa and I are already trying to make a Pinterest-Inspired-Countdown. Much like the one I did for our wedding:

Nerds? Yes. Awesome? Most definitely.

Now for a slight change of pace: Children.

When you reach a certain age, most, if not all, of your friends are either already parents, start becoming parents or discussing near term plans for children. Last night I had a moment where I looked at Brian and thought "I never want to share him"... sounds selfish, but I am entitled to that as a newlywed or a wife in general. I always imagined myself as a mom, maybe even a year after marriage or less, but the day we said our vows something changed. I suddenly became anxious when asked "so, when are you guys going to have a baby of your own?" or... "what are your family plans for the future?"... I smile, giggle awkwardly, ramble something about 5 year plan, all the while containing the voice in my head that's screaming "NO KIDSSSSS".

I have always said IF I have children, I will only have one. (Commence judgemental stares, snickers, and "only child syndrome" comments - and then shove it). But the closer I get to "should be ready" the more I think I could live forever, just Brian, Anchor, Tundra and I (Yes, the animals come before me and YES they will live forever). I couldn't imagine life feeling fuller than it does in this moment.

Now do not misconstrue - I love kids. I have a list a mile long of children who have my heart already: Joseph, Anthony, Jarred, Peyton, Meredith, Baby TBD, Brynn, Emily, Ava, Rylee, Layla, Preston, Zachary, Emily #2, Emma... these kids, they are awesome. And I have fur babies who consume a large portion of my time, and my heart, who make me laugh and best of all - when they're bad, I can kennel them for an hour... in most states, that is frowned upon doing to your actual human child. Con.

Also - we like to travel, a lot. Planning trips brings my husband and I tons of joy. We want to see the world, not just bits and pieces of it but, the whole ENTIRE DAMN THING. Yes, even Canada.

I recently read this article: http://ideas.time.com/2013/08/01/no-regrets-why-i-dont-have-children/ - this woman states that not having children does not make you selfish, this hit home, I am constantly deterring questions regarding children by saying "we're just too selfish right now", heck I did it in this very blog post earlier. I know I am young, I have time to think this through, but for now I am looking forward to vacations and furnishing our home, dancing in the rain and kissing my husband anytime I want and no one crying and causing me to stop.

Every life has it's own path, it's own direction and it's own finish line. Some wake up and know they want to raise a basketball team, some know they want three girls and name them after their great aunts Sally, Beatrice and Gertrude, and some know they might just never be ready. I, for one, don't know when or if I will ever be ready and this is a message to all of our friends, co-workers, parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents and the lady who rang me up at Target 3 weeks ago and thought it was her business to ask when we would have children - my ovaries, and weather or not I want to expose them to becoming fertilized, is my business... I'll send out a newsletter when they come out of hiding.

Swann Baby 2.0

Since my sister and her husband have made it "Facebook official", I am so excited to announce the Swann's are becoming a family of 4 - 6 if you could Sooki and Potato (yes, that's really her dogs name).

My secret wish is that Meredith will have a baby sister to look up to her the way I did with her Mom. Though the large and overwhelming part of me that wants a little boy of my own is hoping that my future Beavan baby will have a boy cousin to play in the dirt with.

My sister announced her pregnancy on Thanksgiving at our home in a card to me (she had announced to my parents a week early for my Mom's birthday), it was very sweet and I was instantly excited as I knew they were ready for baby #2 and trying. My sister waited to get pregnant until after my wedding after a few not so subtle hints that I wanted to PAR-TAY for my wedding with her the way we did for hers. Well, being the fertile mertile she is, it took a whole 4 hours of us being married and poof... preggo. It's ridiculous really. She gets pregnant on not just her own honeymoon, but mine.

She must have a thing for birthday announcements as well, Meredith was announced at mine and baby TBD was announced to our Mom on hers. What a special way to remember that birthday.

On my 22nd birthday Justina announced her 1st pregnancy with a card that said "Something positive to make your birthday great", I lost it then and there... inside a baggie was a pregnancy test that was positive. It was a fun way to find out (after all, nothing says "happy birthday" like a urine stick for a gift - kidding). I really loved finding out that way and every time I reminise about birthdays, that one stands out as easily one of the best.

My sister INSISTS they do not need a baby shower, that they were too spoiled with Meredith and they need nothing but as we all know too well - I don't listen.

I am brainstorming for the perfect baby "sprinkle", and what better theme... than SPRINKLES!

Here is my inspiration:

I love being an Aunt, along with wife, sister and friend it's one of the best titles in the world and I cannot wait to see what July 9th has in store for the Swann clan! 

Preach!

Today at church Pastor Matt was discussing the topic of second chances.

Part of his message was directed towards married couples and how we constantly keep score... Guilty. "You can't be mad I did that, remember the time 800 years ago that you did ____?!". Here's what I love about my church: I grow and become a better person, closer to the person I want to be, every time I leave. Well this Sunday was no exception. I've learned that I have a tendency to redirect the heat when I am under scrutiny. I think, if we're all being honest with ourselves here, that we all have been guilty a time or two of doing just that. 

In the past 6 months I have made a conscience effort to take Brian and I's discussions and disputes and use them for personal growth - when Brian says "you're a grizzly bear in the morning", or some version of that, I will make a solid effort to breathe deep verses biting his head off for looking at me funny when I wake up... Oh yeah, I'm a morning blast-in-a-glass. Who wants to come sleepover? (...crickets...)

Here's to second chances, taking responsibility when we are at fault and whoever invented the term woosah. 

Time to reconnect

Our first house party was intense. Having so many people in the house, foods spilling, foods dropping, candles finding their way to get to the wall... it was all a little much and we will certainly be taking a break from having visitors for quite some time.

BIG NEWS

Drum roll please.... As of New Years day 2014, we are officially Facebook-less.

Brian and I decided that those friends we are going to maintain we keep in touch with without Facebook anyhow. When we would be in the car, rather that making small talk, the passenger would scroll through their Facebook news feed mindlessly. Our parents have both been married 35 years, they didn't make it by not conversing and it's important to us that our marriage comes first. Now to say this is permanent would be jumping the gun, but so far it feels pretty damn good.

I certainly do not miss reading about perfect relationships one minute and the same couple breaking up the next. Or baby momma/baby daddy drama. That's why I watch Vanderpump Rules. I like to pick and choose my drama, thank you very much.

To complete this post of random-ness, St. Mary's received their first accumulation of snow!!!