Kickin' the winter blues

This past weekend gave us beautiful weather which led to a spontaneous golf date and a walk with Anchor.

This winter has been particulary brutal on us Maryland folks and just a peek of sunshine was what the doctor ordered. Maybe it's the 6 years I worked at a tanning salon or the fact that poolside margaritas have my heart - but I am a firm believer that sun can bring the heart happiness and, likewise, lack of it can cause you to feel depressed, irritatable or sad... for no reason whatsoever.

Maybe it was coming off of our wedding and new house high but the winter this year didn't take the toll on us that others around were snatched up by... co-workers, family and friends... all grumpy as hell.

That's what led me to think, what did we do to get us through this winter with our sanity intact?! So, in true "Jerica-Form"... I made a list. I call it - "5 things we did to ensure we didn't kill eachother this winter". Subtle, right?

1.) Projects, and lots of them. From painting, to building, to decorating... we kept ourselves busy and productive. 

2.) Made it a point to get out and do fun things together - bowling, Baltimore, dinner... we were preventing cabin fever.

3.) Changing our work hours from 700-430 to 600-330. Tough transition, BUT, it gives us an additional hour of sunlight a day and that is so worth it to us.

4.) Planning things to do once it gets warm... EYE ON THE PRIZE. We booked a trip to Mexico and planning it gave us a goal and something to be excited about for the warmer weather.

5.) Doing things we won't be able to do once the winter weather is gone and trying to remember the good stuff that comes with the cold - our biggest treat in the winter, our fireplace. From the smell to the looks and the warmth... I.love.that.thing. Other things include skiing, wearing cute sweaters, or drinking hot chocolate.

Anchor enjoys the fireplace, too.

No sooner do I write this it will be 110 degrees and I will be praying for winter weather again, I am certain. But in the meantime... bring on beach weather.

Tradition (cont.)

And just like that - Another Valentine's Day has come and went... And I'm not so sure about you, but nothing to me says romance like some house projects!

The first DIY project in our new home is complete and I am smitten. A countertop for our laundry room. 

Easiest project EVER, inspired by my favorite blog www.younghouselove.com

Next, our living room has an accent wall... More baby blue? Be still my beating heart.

Now, onto the actually romantic stuff. Thanks to a friends insane drawing skills I presented my husband with this beauty:

Thank  you, Joel Wathen! I also gave him the gift of permission to purchase new golf irons. He's a happy man.

Brian gifted me with sushi knife and new rolling mat, and beautiful tiger lilies delivered to our door step.

We devoured Parmesan crusted steak, shrimp, red skinned garlic mashed potatoes and corn. Nomnomnom.

Garlic butter mashed red potatoes:

4 large red skinned potatoes, cubed - with skin

2 tsp minced garlic

3 tbsp butter

1/4 cup almond milk

Salt and pepper to taste

Bring potoes to a boil until soft, drain and place into original pot

Add minced garlic and butter and stir

Add milk, salt and pepper and using a hand mixer - blend to desired consistency

Enjoy! 

It was a great first Valentine's day indeed.

Best marriage advice I've ever received

In the spirit of all thing Valentine's, a marriage post.

Let's be blunt: Marriage opinions are like assholes, everyone has one... and no one wants to hear it.

Everywhere you go, especially as a newlywed, there is someone who has been married 4 days longer... or who are on their 24th anniversary at 29 years old... or have been through more marriages than you've had birthdays... and guess what?! They all have a golden rule, or piece of advice, to pass down.

Now typically I ignore these tidbits of advice because more often than not, what works in their marriage will not work in mine. But a long time ago, long before I ever met the man who would be my husband... I was given a piece of advice that I carry with me every day.

"Don't EVER talk poorly of your husband, to anyone, EVER."

Now - have I failed at this before? Sure. I've had the occasional "HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS" conversation with a friend a time or two. But I make it a goal to ensure that does not become a habit.

Besides the obvious - it's not nice to talk about others - your friends also do not love your husband the way that you do. They will not forgive the way you will. They do not see the apology, the genuine love shared between the two of you. They are simply on the outside of the marriage and as much damage control as you try to do, talking him up, bragging.. etc. these friends will not forget what you've told them in the heat of the moment. You, more than likely, made the issue sound worse than it was... I'm certain his side of the story was not shared, and to prove a point the words "always, and all the time, and everyday" were used. It's called an exaggeration. I've read that 93% of women exaggerate when they are upset. You're not alone... we're all crazy. (or at least the 93% of us - the other 7% are single)

When I talk to friends, co-workers, and family members I try to remember to raise Brian up, to make him sound like the man I see him as. No need to lie. You married the man, there must be a million things you love about him. Give him credit when credit is due. You are the luckiest woman in the world. Make sure he, and every single person you meet, know you feel that way. Radiate love.

The man I married is the kind of man who will run out and pick me up something I am craving when I am sick, or stay home with me a few extra hours in the morning when I just don't feel like getting up, play with my hair when I ask him with a pouty-lip, or who has told me no less times than I can count on one hand. That is the man I want my friends to know. The man I love.

Happy Valentine's Day to the man who makes me the happiest woman on earth every single day... Channing Tatum. Just kidding, Brian. I love you too much. Here's to a million more candy filled holidays.

Tradition

Brian and I have a tradition, Baltimore to celebrate Valentine's day. Every year we find a new way to celebrate love day either the weekend before or the weekend after.

Since we started dating shortly after Valentine's day it was a way of celebrating our anniversary as well.

2012 (Our first official Valentine's day): Brian and I went to Sabantino's in Little Italy for dinner, then out on the town - from Fell's point to Power Plant. My personal favorite - the Piano Bar!



My present. Still love this ring as much as I did that day.



Perfection



We walked on the harbor and around his old college campus the next morning. The next night we met with Jess and Matt and went to an interactive murder mystery play. It was a great weekend.

On the actual day of 2/14 I sent Brian an edible arrangement and received one perfect long stem rose. It was a good year.

2013: Friday was spent having dinner and drinks and then to a hotel. Saturday we made a stop at Jess and Matt's again and got to see this little one... (who's not quite so little anymore)

And while the boys were away picking up Bateman's, Ava crawled!!

Jess and I made cupcakes and attempted shrimp quesadilla's which almost caused an evacuation due to too much jalapeno and cumin in a hot pan.

2/14 was spent with flowers sent to my work, wine, chocolate covered strawberries and steak and lobster for dinner.

2014: This year, yet again, we recruited Jess and Matt to tackle Bmore with us! We kicked it off with Korean BBQ which was a great first experience for us and also extremely tasty. Next we were off to the Towson Basketball game (I gave Brian tickets for Christmas), then to Bateman's for a crab pretzel, and back to the hotel to get freshened up.

Our dinner was one for the books. Not only was our server phenomenal, the food was TO.DIE.FOR. Garlic fries started the meal off but didn't last long with Jess attacking them... clearly they were her favorite part. ;) Brian and I tried a sampler of 7 home brewed beers. We both ordered a seasonal - him: the light and the dark for myself.

Brian ordered a rib eye that didn't stand a chance. 18 oz gone in less than 2 minutes (a little exaggeration there). I ordered the largest seafood cobb salad, but was not at all disappointed. And Brian did his husbandly duties clearing what I couldn't finish.

We started off a night of heavy drinking with Max's tap house, then the Greene Turtle and finally Rodo's. Brian and I were the last couple standing and found ourselves at Blue Moon cafe at 425 in the morning.

I will follow up with how 2/14 this year ends but so far... steak, lobster and wine are on the agenda!

Comparison

It's been just over a month since Brian and I disconnected from the thriving social life that is Facebook. I asked him last night about how he feels without it and he simply said "I don't even think of it anymore".

I cannot lie.

I think about it every day as I am on the phone with my sister and she says "OMG, did you see what Billy Joe Smith posted?! It's hilarious!" Then I simply remind her that just like every other day this past month I do not have Facebook. She then attempts to paint a picture for me of whatever it is she is laughing about, and between snorting and speaking in that airy high pitched can't-catch-your-breath-you're-laughing-so-hard way... I get 1/4 of the story and no enjoyment out of the 15 minutes of my life she has stolen from me. That's 105 minutes a week, sister. Give me a break.

However, there is a lot more about Facebook that I do not miss...

I do not miss the comparison game. If you are on Facebook, have ever had a Facebook or have an Aunt who logged in once while you were sitting beside her... you know exactly what I am talking about.

I wonder if in 10 years Facebook will come out with an awards ceremony for who won the "Most Perfect Cyber Life" trophy. (And then a year later I will expect to see that person on Celebrity Rehab because if you're putting in that much effort to depict a perfect life on Facebook, you can't have much free time to actually live that perfect life)

Nothing kills romance like "hold on honey, I need to get a picture of us walking down the beach so everyone knows we walk down the beach"... what happened to living IN the moment? Enjoying the moments as they happen....

I am not casting stones here - I think photos are the best way to fossilize that memory for years to come, but there has to be a line drawn when some moments are just shared between you and the ones you love most. Those are the moment's people should envy. The ones that are so special you keep them to yourself.

And we all love the sappy daily love notes between you and your significant other you're sitting right next to as you post them... what happened to looking over and telling your spouse these things? The occasional sweet nothing on the Facebook wall is acceptable, but when I am forced to see a weekly exchange of vows in my news feed - it's gotten a tad ridiculous. Yes - we are all happy you are happy, but reminders are not necessary - that is what your relationship status is for. "Oh, look! Fred is still married!! Good for him, he must be happy". If we were all honest here, we cannot say that we don't have a moment where we think "what are they trying to hide?" about those relationships that spend every waking moment trying to convince the whole wide world they are William and Kate, or Carrie and Big, or Rachel and Ross. No one is dressing up like you two next Halloween - throw in the towel already.

Oh, and we can't forget about friendships... I must say I had longer more engaged friendships prior to social media. There is nothing I love more than meeting up for drinks and not having a damn thing to discuss because they've already posted it on their wall... you know the scenario:

Sarah: "Hey, did you hear I am engaged?!"

You: "Yes, we've only been friends since we were 2 but I saw that on Facebook"

Way to take the special out of special moments.

And when catching up on what you have already read is through, you can both sit silently checking-in to the restaurant exclaiming what a FABULOUS time you are having, and then spend the remainder of the evening updating your news feed because God forbid there be something exciting be happening around you in REAL LIFE.

Lastly - my husband's favorite: "Why would so-and-so even add you?!". I am NOT perfect and would have a line to declare BS if I attempted to claim to be - I pulled this move once upon a time. Then promptly borrowed his phone and declined that beeotch. Which could have been followed with "WHY are you friends with him/her?" - good thing I did damage control on that one... (silver lining, babe, see it?!)

As if my husband were cyber cheating on me if his (insert insulting things I will not say because I am secure in my relationship) elementary school girlfriend can see his profile and all of the nothing he ever posted on his timeline.

Now to bring this train into the station: I think social media can affect our "live-in-the-moment-ness"... our "who cares if they love each other and he bought her flowers, you are amazing and I love you anyway-ness"... the "my house is awesomely decorated and I don't care that yours looks like a Martha Stewart magazine-ness"... (yes, these are all technical things). We are force-fed ideas of what perfect is, but what is perfect for you may not be my kind of perfect. My husband may not have bought me a new Lexus for Valentine's Day but he vacuums the house for me without having to ask and that gets my motor running.

Comparison will not lead to anything positive. Be happy with what truly makes you happy, not what Facebook tells you that everyone else is getting and you must have it too just to be happy. Disconnect every now and again, go outside, breathe fresh air, cuddle without taking a photo... and if only for that moment, remember life BEFORE comparison - it's there you will be reminded of what really makes you happy.