Being the long time marriage expert I am, of a whole one month and one day, I must say these last few weeks have already taught me a lot. Not just about myself, but my spouse, and us as a unit.
I was told time and time again that if we could get through building a house and planning a wedding at the same time, we were golden – well we made it. Now onto the fun stuff.
I can say without a doubt that I know my husband, very well, better than he knows himself at times… knowing him as a boyfriend and then as my fiancé were both very different experiences – why would I think marriage would be any different?
The first hard lesson - learning to share finances with another person, having joint bills, accounts, and utilities is all foreign to me… but I am willingly learning.
Brian and I use the 90/10 method. 90% in a joint account for bills, savings and spend – the additional 10% is in our own accounts to spend as we please. This is what maintains my sanity. If I had to run every Diet Pepsi and nail polish by my husband I may lose my mind.
It is safe to say that Brian is the “saver” in our marriage (more like penny pincher, but I would never tell him that… I’ll just write it here and let him read it. Hehe). I have lived by the motto that I don’t live to work, I work to live. I enjoy saving, but I also enjoy splurging and going on a weekend getaway, or buying something we have both been eyeballing for months, or even a nice fancy dinner where neither of us know what we’re eating because we cannot pronounce the food. Yeah, I like that. But I have learned that as much as I want to unclench Brian’s knuckles from around those pennies and put them towards the ratatouille escargot (I am pretty sure I made that meal up) I have to give him at least half of the pennies. Is this making sense? Compromise. I am learning to compromise.
Speaking of compromise, Brian recently started P90X with a friend of his. They meet at said friend’s house after work, do their work out and Brian is home between 6:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. When Brian first asked me about this all of the normal womanly thoughts went running through my head… I would be home alone, I would need to cook dinners, pack lunches, clean, do laundry, and dishes each night. This is where that all too familiar word snuck in… compromise. I asked myself, if roles were reversed, would he do the same for me? The answer was always yes - and he wouldn’t even need this awkward exchange of conversation-like thoughts that I did.
The second thing I have learned, you ask? To be the kind of spouse my husband is to me. When I am home alone, and I set off the smoke detectors not just once but THREE times (count em’… 1, 2, 3…) and the construction workers next door come to check if I am okay, and then ask if I am home alone… and I want to cry, or kick Brian for not being home right then, I remember the nights I worked two jobs and my lunches were always packed, my dinner was always waiting, and my apartment was always clean… and I just mumble some not-so-child-approved language and keep on cookin’.
**Speaking of cookin’, Brian and I gave these Stuffed Peppers a try and you will NOT be disappointed – I’ll post the recipe below.**
Number 3… I value my “me” time. Now that our lives have (somewhat) calmed down, I have learned more-so than ever that I need time with myself… often. Now don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING in this world I love more than hanging out with my hubby. But I have learned that it’s during “me” time that I take time to think, and actually relax. Drink a glass of wine, watch some trash tv, paint my nails… you know, all of the necessities. I’ve learned when I am alone I also reflect on my day, think about my priorities, pick out my next day’s outfit… it’s in those times that I feel prepared. As much as I love my cant-sit-down-busy-body husband, he finds his “him” time with ESPN and Bud Light. If a good sports game is not currently broadcasting, he is not sitting down. He is measuring stuff, and doing this, and doing that and then re-doing this because he has run out of things to do but will not sit his tail down. “Me” time also allows me to miss Brian, and our time with our friends or alone really allows us to enjoy the time we spend together that much more.
This is simply a work in progress, but every.single.day I feel like a better person just for being his wife and I think that is the kind of marriage every woman should have.
Now as promised, Stuffed Peppers:
6 green bell peppers (I used hybrids of red and green)
Salt to taste
1 pound ground beef
1/3 cup chopped onion
Salt and pepper to taste
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup uncooked long grain white rice
1/2 cup water
1 cup shredded Mexican blend cheese
2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed tomato soup
Directions: Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cut off the tops of the peppers and remove the seeds. Cook peppers in boiling water for 5 minutes, drain.
Sprinkle salt inside each pepper, and set aside.
In a large skillet, saute beef and onions for 5 minutes, or until beef is browned. Drain off excess fat, and season with salt and pepper. Stir in the tomatoes, rice, 1/2 cup water and Worcestershire sauce. Cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, or until rice is tender. Remove from heat, and stir in the cheese.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. (175 degrees C). Stuff each pepper with the beef and rice mixture, and place peppers open side up in a baking dish. In a medium bowl, combine tomato soup with just enough water to make the soup a gravy consistency. Pour over the peppers.
Bake covered for 25 to 35 minutes, until heated through and cheese is melted and bubbly.
Enjoy!
I found the original recipe here:http://allrecipes.com/recipe/stuffed-green-peppers-i/
